We all exert influence, all the time, in our interactions with others. If you want to have four seats and a table all to yourself on the train, bring with you a greasy, smelly hamburger from the takeaway stand. I guarantee that if there’s a seat available elsewhere, I will choose it! If you want to make me laugh, you’ve got a better than average chance if you choose clever, topical humour in the vein of Have I Got News for You, rather than, say, the style of Little Britain, which is more likely to make me cringe.
Typically, people underestimate how influential they really are
This is my experience of studying influence over a period of time. It is often most apparent when a person influences something they don’t want. Someone I know very well complains that he doesn’t feel a part of his family, that he is ‘on the outside’. A funny thing about this is that I have never heard him use the word ‘we’. He talks about ‘I’ when he is describing something he and his wife have done together; if he is leaving with his family for an outing he will typically ask ‘What time are you leaving?’, even though he is part of that group. Of course, I don’t know where that language structure comes from within him, but it’s a fair bet that as he talks that way, he probably thinks that way too. Consequently he is inadvertently influencing the very scenario he says he does not want – that of detachment from his family. He is undoubtedly influential - but he’s not using it to his advantage in that context.
There is an unfortunate consequence of this
When someone fails to recognise their part in a scenario, when they don’t realise they are influencing the very thing they don’t want, they are highly likely to blame someone else. Years ago I presented to the MD of a company the findings of some focus groups I had conducted with his staff. A significantly large proportion of participants had described a ‘blame culture’ within the organisation. The response of the MD when he heard this? ‘Blame culture? Who said there is a blame culture?’.
At the heart of a ‘blame culture’ is the failure to take responsibility or stand accountable; the fear of reprisal. Creative thought, innovation and risk are quashed in favour of keeping your head down below the parapet, lest it gets blasted off! Hardly the ingredients for a successful and progressive organisation!
And the alternative?
Imagine a culture where everyone takes full responsibility for their responses and actions. They stand accountable for who they are and the way they behave. They recognise their enormous power of influence, regardless of the role they do, and they harness it to influence positive change for themselves and others. Everyone is engaged and proactive; measured risk taking is embraced as a necessity for progression; there is no such thing as failure – it’s all learning for the future.
Influence for Positive Change
At Agile we partner with you to influence positive change – for yourself and others. We provide strategies and skills to help you take control and become more influential. Why? Because we believe passionately that you have a proactive and progressive contribution to make - in business and in the world.
We help you make it. Read more about how we do that.
Contact us to discuss how you can influence positive change.
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© Helen Krag, 2009